Inspiration in Grief

Update to inspiration in grief:
We were on vacation recently and I felt my younger brother very close- as if he was riding with me on this adventure. It was very warm, and my sweetie could not handle the heat on his head. He emerged one morning with his head completely shaved. When I saw him I felt like a knife went through my chest. All I could see was a bald head that looked just like my brother's after chemotherapy.
13 years later I still don't know what experience will trigger a wave of grief. It took me a little more than a week to become accustomed to my love's new look.
Grief has it's own schedule. I don't know that I will ever be "done" grieving. But now when either of my brothers feels close it is no longer that searing pain of desperate desire to have them back. It has become a tender closeness that sparks my own memories. I am comforted rather than recoiling in agony.


Inspiration in grief? Grief is something you have no choice but to experience. Women are emotional beings who spend a great deal of time and energy taking care of and fixing all the troubles of those around us.

Grief is felt not only at the end of a life, but at the end of a relationship or a way of life. We mourn what we loved. Today, during this economic difficulty it is important to realize that all around us people are mourning the loss of a job, loss of their home, loss of a car or standard of living. The stress you feel at the loss of a life is the same with every loss. Those around us are in grief. You may be experiencing grief. Sadness, short attention span, difficulty with memory, or inability to process a thought; all of these are effects of grief.
Inspiration in Grief: Be good to yourself, patient with those around you, and compassionate with strangers.

The impact of grief actually begins after the memorial services. Once the ceremony and the parade of friends have gone the feelings begin. There is an initial time of numbness; a gift perhaps, that gives you time to begin to comprehend the loss.

"Alone" does not mean loneliness, but "all one." Unique, whole, and complete. Your grief is a unique experience. No one else will grieve as you do. Each woman has her own relationship with every person in her life. Love is a spiritual experience, and therefore your spirit is effected when you experience a loss.

Grief is a long process. There is no schedule you can follow. At times you may feel anger, denial, depression, acceptance, and also want to make deals with God. You will not feel these in any particular order, and feeling each stage of grief once doesn't mean you won't experience it again. Within a grieving family every member can experience each stage of grief at a different time.

Also grief does not wait until a private moment to flood your emotions. To deny grief it's path you rob yourself the natural course of this emotion and refusing to acknowledge it doesn't make it go away. The feeling will fester in your gut growing until it bursts out larger and more painfully.

Grief has a life of it's own. The smallest most insignificant thing can trigger a memory and awaken your sense of loss. Sometimes that memory can bring a smile to your face, and other times the tears begin. The work of grief is to feel.

Inspiration in Grief: Allow the feeling when it comes. Don't fight against it-which is hard some times because it really hurts. Allow yourself to feel everything, the happiness and joy too.

Inspiration in grief: As women we feel pain when those we love die. It will not go away, but it's intensity will ease. The memories that bring tears will be replaced as those that bring you a smile.

For more information on Grief you may find these books helpful:

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